


Wave After Wave

by Origingirl



Series: Diamonds are Gems, Too. [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Failure to Communicate, Implied/Referenced Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 22:32:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Origingirl/pseuds/Origingirl
Summary: Impatient as ever, Yellow is determined at first to put their quarrel from the trial behind them. However, she is not prepared for the backlash of agony Blue unleashes upon her wave after wave. Will they ever be the same after this? [Follows directly after "Trials of the Bonds Between Us"]





	Wave After Wave

**Author's Note:**

> So just a quick explanation of my headcannon for Blues' gem powers we saw in the show. I'm calling them "waves", because, well... that's what it looked like to me when I watched it. That, and I'm going along with the elemental trend we're seeing with blue gems' powers - like with Lapis+water and Saphire+ice. Except instead of a literal wave, it's a wave of detrimental and toxic emotions that plunges all in proximity into a state of deep depression and pain. Idk, I thought it was creative *shrugs*.

The quiet hum of the ships engine along with two pearls greeted Yellow at the doorway of Blue’s vessel. She walked to the bridge in silence, any gem occupying the pathway immediately swerving out of their way. It took her a while, but Yellow calmed herself enough to a point where she was once again capable of the rationality that her entire reputation was based upon. She was well aware that since era one, she’d developed a certain unstableness in herself, which led her to act out in ways she’d regret later at the worst of times. 

Blue knew of her condition as well. She’d never had an outburst such as the ones she’d been experiencing since Pink’s demise but Yellow knew all the same that it was no excuse for putting the trial – the one thing Blue was hoping to seek solace from – in jeopardy.

Her high-heeled boots clicked across the shining pastel-blue tiles of her comrades’ ship as she finally approached the entryway to the bridge – in it, the main control center where Blue stood almost motionlessly in front of a large monitor whilst quietly giving out orders and instructions to the few gems surrounding her that were diligently taking notes. 

Yellow’s presence, however, made the gems standing tentatively to Blue stop whatever it was they were writing down and cataloging in order to salute Yellow as proper subordinate etiquette required of them. Blue on the other hand didn’t stop her actions for a moment, her fingers gliding gracefully across the monitors’ hollo keys, her eyes glued to the screen, her body as still as when Yellow first walked in. It wasn’t until moments later Blues’ hands dropped at her sides. The soundless tension was thick enough to cut through with a blade and it carried on until Blue gave a quiet command to the gems of her court to leave them in privacy. The room cleared in an instant without hesitation, save for their personal Pearls. Blue still refused to move, but her voice conveyed every thought and feeling that Yellow was sure were shining brightly in her companions eyes.

“I do not know what you expect of me at the moment Yellow, but whatever it is you’ve come to discuss I urge you to do so with haste.”

Yes. Of course. Why did Yellow think it would be this easy? Any past qualms between them were miniscule compared to the predicament they found themselves in now. Not wishing to feed the fire, Yellow chose her words carefully, choosing business as a lead-in topic.

“Roaming eyes have been deployed to all east and north sectors of the planet. Those that were already out scanning for basic security protocol have picked up movement in a few western sector areas, not far from where the accused had escaped. More have been deployed since then and are heavily scanning said areas thoroughly.” She reported, hoping the subject would ease some of the tension whilst directing their talk in the way Yellow wants it to go simultaneously.

There was a pause. Yellow could see Blues’ shoulders rise and fall as she sighed deeply – though neither of them technically needed to breath, it was an action that Blue found calming.

“Good. I’ll see to it that scouters are sent to those coordinates, and soldiers to follow if the scouters come up positive.”

Yellow nodded, more so to herself than to Blue, who still stubbornly refused to show her face. The brief exchange of words only lowered the tension by so much, leaving Yellow at a loss of what to do or say next. She found herself sighing as she walked up slowly to Blue until she was standing only a foot behind her. 

“Blue.” She spoke her companions name quietly, as if even the slightest more volume would crack all the glass and metal the ship walls surrounding them was comprised of. When she got no response – an outcome she knew was the most probable – Yellow brought a hand up and tentatively caressed the top of Blues’ shoulder that was not covered by the phased fabric of Blues’ dress. Blue didn’t so much as flinch at the touch, determined now more than ever to remain unwavering. Yellow sighed once more, her hand turning to place itself gently on Blue. “Please. Look at me.” She pleaded, determined to put this predicament on pause if not resolve it in order to accomplish the tasks they needed to at hand. A moment passed between the two before Yellow got an answer, though it was not the one she’d been expecting.

“No.” Blue affirmed, jerking her shoulder away from Yellows gentle touch as nice as it felt. “You’ve said all you needed to say. I suggest you get back to your own ship and monitor for more activity, lest the accused moves elsewhere.”

“Blue, please. We must –”

“Must _what_ , Yellow?” Blue whirled around with an impressive speed and walked closer to Yellow, who stepped backwards, the look of utter rage overtaking her features. _“Talk?_ How do you expect me to talk to you after you acted unbelievably childish and threw a tantrum that shattered any chance we may have had at finding out the truth to Pinks’ demise? How do you expect me to _talk_ about what happened in that trial room when what happened was _your fault?_ If anything, _I_ should be the one coming to you for not a talk, but a _scolding.”_

Yellow raised both hands up in defense and offered a woeful expression as her back approached a wall of the ship, just as before in the trial room. “Blue. I understand my outburst was unacceptable and I came to –”

“Ha! You _understand!_ Yet you couldn’t contain your rampaging!” Blue said, throwing her hands in the air whilst backing Yellow into a corner, her companions back hitting the wall. Blues’ eyes were on the verge of tears, but she resisted in favor of realizing she’d been crying for years now and determining for the sake of this moment of confronting Yellow, enough was enough. “If you _truly_ understood, you wouldn’t have had an outburst to begin with, _Yellow.”_ Her tone grew menacingly quiet, speaking to Yellow as she would to an insubordinate gem whos’ actions merited shattering. 

Yellow felt a shiver run from top to bottom of her body in response to Blues’ icy gaze. She’d been mourning for an absurdly long time, making Yellow almost forget how intimidating Blue could be. She _was_ a part of the Authority and there was good reason for it. While she was known to be slightly more lenient to minor slip-ups gems in her court and throughout her colonies made, she could be just as fearsome as Yellow or White when the time called for it. In fact, Yellow couldn’t remember the last time Blue spoke to anyone like she was speaking to her right now. Thinking further back, Yellow didn’t recall a time when Blue spoke this way to her at all. Taking this into account only confirmed Yellow’s hypothesis – she messed up _horrifically_ today.

“You. Obliterated. The one chance we may have had at knowing the truth. You shouted at whomever dared speak against what you favored believing. You poofed not only _my_ zircon whom dared to question your authority in a place where she should have been allowed to if the situation called for it, but also poofed your own zircon who did _nothing_ to merit such a consequence aside from _irritating_ you!” Her voice raised with each passing word that flew past her lips in a slew of anger and disappointment. “Your passive aggressiveness throughout the trial was potent in the least, and your patience was so thin it was prominent on your face whenever alternative evidence was presented! You were so quick to execute the accused without even giving them a chance to speak! Our power over our domain may be absolute, Yellow, but we’re _not_ killers. I refuse to shatter any gem put on trial unless found _one hundred percent_ guilty. I thought you followed the same philosophy, but your actions today told me otherwise.”

Yellow, now slightly irritated at the implication of _Rose Quartz_ being _innocent_ , found her voice. “You can’t possibly believe what the defense said.”

“And how couldn’t I, Yellow?” Blue rolled her eyes, her gaze falling to the side. “How couldn’t I when what she concluded sounds so probable.”

As soon as Blues’ pinning gaze directed itself elsewhere, Yellow made a bold move and grasped both of her companions’ shoulders in hopes of calming her. “Blue… please listen to reason.”

Blue was silent for a while, breathing deeply before speaking again, her eyes just as cold, perhaps colder than just moments before. “Oh, I’ll listen to reason. _Your_ words on the other hand leave me grasping at thin air recently.” She said, her voice a menacing whisper directed at the Diamond she had just before the trial been one hundred percent faithful to. Now, everything she’d believed about Pink Diamonds demise had been called into question, and Blue reprehended herself for not demanding answers sooner. 

“You need to realize that _this_ …” She waved a hand back and forth between the two of them, “…will not be fixed overnight. And to answer your question,” Blue strode forwards until their faces were mere inches apart, her gaze so sharp that Yellow feared if she did not look away, she’d end up getting sliced in two, “I’m not saying I believe zircon in terms of her final accusation _fully_ , however there is no denying what she concluded is in no way _plausible.”_

They stayed like that in silence for a brief moment, but to Yellow it felt like an eternity with Blues eyes impaling her with their sharpened blades of anger, grief, and a whole multitude of emotions swirling about. 

It was then that the first of many tears to follow rolled down Blues’ cheek, despite her earlier resolve. Yellow didn’t dare move to console her like she would on the many other occasions Blue had cried, for this moment here and now wasn’t like those many other occasions. These weren’t tears of grief and sadness. They were tears of pure rage, and Blue could feel the difference in their burning temperature as they streaked fire on her face instead of sorrowful ice. The look Blue was giving Yellow both paralyzed her and made her want to cradle Blue in her arms and tell her just how sorry she was for losing control over herself and ruining the one chance they may have had at putting Pinks’ fate – and Blues’ tears – behind them. Yellow knew she shouldn’t, but she made an effort to bring her hands up and reach out for her hurt companion.

**_“Don’t.”_** Blue stated firmly with her teeth grit, a wave of dejection _erupting_ from her gem and consuming Yellow as it did in the trial room. However, this time, there were so many more feelings other than agony washing over her that she felt ready to implode. Blues’ voice felt like it would rupture a crack right down the middle of Yellows’ gem. Is this how Blue was feeling? So many complicated emotions all roiling around and around in a nonstop whirlwind of pure _pain, agony, sorrow, rage, distrust, **hurt**_. Yellow felt like she wanted to crawl away somewhere deep and dark and never again return to the surface. The wave was pulling her in, spreading its infectious despair throughout every inch of her body and gem, where she felt it the most. It was so strong she really did fear her gem would crack beneath the weight of the damning anguish. This combined with Blue sharply staring her down instilled a fear in her that she hasn’t felt in… ever. She’s never felt this afraid – of her own kinship nonetheless. 

Her back pressed fully into the wall, Yellow wanting nothing more than to sink into it and disappear. She _hated_ it, but Blue was relentless, the wave only growing in mass and in hue turning from a dull cobalt to a saturated azure. Yellow felt like she was drowning even though gems could survive underwater. She felt like she was being suffocated standing this close to Blue, her eyes unwavering and her hair expanding in hot white wisps of chaos. Her mind was screaming _‘run, run, get away, danger, danger, danger’,_ but she _couldn’t_. Blue was sucking her into a pit of depression, and there was nothing she could do except gaze back at her companion with pleading eyes. It hurt so deeply to the point where she could no longer contain it all, the harmful emotions spilling out of her in the form of tears.

Blues’ eyebrows unfurled and her menacing expression morphed into one of horror – horror at what she’d just done. She watched as the yellow-tinted liquid rolled down her companions’ cheeks by the gallon – partly forming a puddle at her feet – and backed away to give Yellow space. Blue then watched her drop to the floor, her entire form shaking, her breath coming out in ragged huffs. Yellow gasped as she glanced up at Blue with soaked eyes and cheeks with a pleading expression – pleading her to _please, please stop it hurts, it hurts too much_. The wave retreated immediately after Blue saw that look in her eyes, ceasing Yellows’ strain as if there were phantom hands releasing their vice like grip on her neck. Panting heavily now, Yellow shakily stood from the tear stained floor. It was downright dreadful experiencing that wave, but a small voice in the back of Yellows’ mind knew that she deserved it after what she did. At least now she’d been able to feel what Blue must have been feeling all this time. _‘Be careful what you wish for.’_ She thought to herself. 

She eyed Blue wearily, but also with concern and worry naked on her face. She felt so _empty_. To feel everything all at once and then a second later feel nothing at all… it was taxing on her body and gem to say the least. However, it was only so because she made the move to comfort Blue that she knew would backfire because this predicament was unique among all others they’d gotten themselves into. Mentally slapping herself for attempting such contact after the incident and talk in the trial room, Yellow stood quietly, trying her best to calm her breathing and stop her body from shaking. 

Blue looked at Yellow with many emotions, but the most predominant one was fear, funny enough. Yellow knew how powerful Blue was. She knew that her abilities well acceded her own at times, and also knew that she could sometimes lose control over them, much like Yellow could lose control over her own temper quickly. She saw that Blue feared hurting her, and knew she didn’t mean to cast such a destructive wave over her – make her feel all those retched emotions, for Yellow was not used to _feeling_ head on as Blue was. 

“It’s ok.” Yellow groaned, her form still aching from the intensity of the wave. 

Backing up further while shaking her head in disbelief, Blue brought her hands to both cheeks and her gaze fell to the floor. Her tears lowered drastically in temperature and Blue felt on the verge of crying _pure ice_ at this point. 

“No. _No, no_ , I…” Blue sobbed, at a loss for words. “Yellow.” She whispered the name like a silent prayer to forgive her for feeling such rage towards a being she’d loved for so long. She backed up until they were on opposite ends of the room. The tears continued to fall, but this time they weren’t the result of mourning over Pink. Now, she cried because for an _instant_ … a short, _single instant_ … she intended every moment of her agony fueled wave to **_hurt_** Yellow. For a brief, short lived, tiny moment, she _wanted_ Yellow to hurt. This thought scared her to the deepest parts of her subconscious and made her want to lock herself away just so she’d never be able to hurt Yellow like this again. She loathed what Yellow had done during the trial – loather her for ruining something that she knew was so important to her – and even in the confused state she was experiencing now, Blue _still_ loathed her for it. However, she never before in her long, long life _wanted to harm_ her companion to such an extent. 

Her waves after Pinks’ demise once caused a soldier of her innermost court to _shatter themselves_. She was one of Blues’ most prized Indicolites capable of taking on hordes of enemy lines all at once, walking off the battle field with her gem shinning brighter than when she walked on. Indicolite was known for brute force, yet at the same time was calm and compliant with her gem peers, doing what was required of her with a respectful bow whilst refraining from smothering her Diamond with praise. To Blue, she was the perfect balance of strength, intelligence, and high spirits and Blue still felt a tinge of grief that she’d been responsible for Idnicolites’ death. Blue knew Yellow was a gem comprised of rationality and iron will like no other and was far from embodying a _gem soldier_ , but if her wave was capable of causing such utter devastation to one of her most mentally and physically strong soldiers to the point where they wished to rather die than experience such pain, who knew what would happen if Yellow were to experience a wave stronger than this? Blue derailed that train of thought before it could chug anymore distance in her mind. “Oh… Yellow, I…” 

“It’s ok.” Yellow repeated herself once more, walking extra slowly towards her hunched over companion. “It’s ok, Blue.” 

“No! Don’t come any closer!” Blue shouted, turning away from Yellow, her tears growing in volume. “I… I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“You won’t.” Yellow spoke quietly, her tone low and soothing as she drew nearer. “I know you won’t.” 

“But I _wanted_ to.” Blue objected, shaking her head in continued disbelief. “For a _moment_ … I wanted to hurt you, Yellow. I wanted you to feel agony like no other, feel depression suffocate you to the point where you yourself want to –” 

“It doesn’t matter.” Yellow cut her off, taking the last few slow steps to where she stood three respective yet intimate feet behind Blue. “That wasn’t you.” 

“Who _was_ it, then?!” Blue exclaimed, abruptly turning to face Yellow with her reddened, tired eyes as a result of her weeping. “Who else could be at fault?” 

“It was _I_ who pursued _you_ , Blue.” 

“But it was my fault I lost control –” 

“I _antagonized_ you, making you lose control.” 

“It wasn’t your fault you wanted to sort _this_ out.” Blue motioned a hand back and forth between them as she did before. “If anything, I’m the one holding us back from getting quicker results by focusing in on all this… nonsense.” 

“Your feelings are _far_ from nonsense.” Yellows’ tone changed from that of soothing to reprimanding. Blue should _never_ think of her feelings as invalid. Is that how she’d been feeling all this time? Invalid? “How you feel is very important to me, Blue, as it should be to you, too.” 

“I’m not saying they’re not. I simply _hate_ the fact that I become so easily consumed by feelings to the point where others around me experience the same ones as a result of how potent my own are.” Blue turned to the side, sighing. A wave that intense took a lot of emotional focus, often times leaving her weak and drained of all will to do much else than sit in silence. She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. “I _lost_ a soldier over it, Yellow. One of my best.” 

“Your emotions do cloud your rationality at the worst of times, Blue.” Yellow said, walking around to the side and cupping Blues’ face so she may look at her companion. “Then again… so do mine.” 

Blue smiled, putting Yellow at momentary ease, no matter if it was a sad and broken one. “Perhaps… we both need to set our sadness and anger aside.” 

“ _I_ must. You have every right to be livid with me, Blue.” Yellow said, stroking her thumb beneath Blues’ eye. “I know I’d be.” 

“Though that may be true, it doesn’t excuse the fact that I almost…” Blue trailed off, unwilling to speak of a horror of which she’d only minutes ago wanted to inflict on a gem that she’d known and cherished all her life. “I’m not excused for acting out either.” 

“I suppose we’re both a bit crazed, aren’t we?” Yellow allowed a small smile to grace her lips as well as a light chuckle to emit from her throat. 

Blue laughed as well, smoothing her hand over Yellows’ that was administering such gentle and calming touches to her face. “War brings out the worst in everyone. It seems even we are no exception.” 

The melancholy moment lasted just briefly after as a thick silence once again consumed the atmosphere. The only difference now was that the tension between the two Diamonds had vanished, leaving them both a bit tuckered, but relaxed nonetheless. Yellow was grateful for it. 

“May I hold you?” Yellow asked, pausing her light touches. There was no response initially. She knew Blue may reject her, which she was fine with. This tension being resolved for the moment was more than she could have asked for giving what had just transpired within the past few hours. However, her assumption was proved to be false at Blues’ eventual response. 

“Please.” Blue whispered, her tone conveying how desperate she was for Yellows’ forgiveness for her earlier actions led my malicious intent. 

Yellow practically caught Blue as she slightly fell forward into her companions’ arms, sighing as the appendages wrapped around her waist and lower back. They stayed like that for what felt like eternity. 

“I’m sorry.” Yellow said, sighing into Blues’ silken hair, running the hand on her lower back up and down in gentle rubs. “I really _am_ sorry, Blue.” 

To any other gem, Yellow may have sounded like she’d just apologized for recent events, but Blue recognized the woeful tone and realized she was apologizing for _everything_. She was sorry for not being there when Blue first fell into her deep state of mourning. She was sorry for not doing more when the rebellion broke out. She was sorry for reprimanding Blue for allowing her emotions to control her for so long when she herself had been doing the same, just with anger in place of grief. She was sorry for all of it that had led herself to lash out violently at the trial that in turn ruined it, and sorry for attempting to console Blue shortly after when she’d known Blue was nowhere near ready to talk. She was sorry for all of it, and Blue forgave all – save for her outburst at the trial. However, although she was still a bit livid at Yellow, she dismissed it for the moment and at the recollection of how she’d almost drove Yellow to complete agony only moments ago – something she’d never thought she’d do in her life. 

Wrapping her own arms up and around Yellows’ shoulders, Blue rested her head atop her bright gem. “It’s ok.” She mirrored Yellows’ own previous statement. 

Yellow realized they may never be the same after today. She realized that Blue would have her doubts and suspicion towards her from this moment onward. 

It didn’t matter, though. 

It didn’t matter because right here, right now in this very moment of calmness and togetherness between two beings who loved each other in spite of so much individual and shared pain and loss… everything was ok. 

“I’ll always love you.” Yellow whispered. “No matter what you may think of me in light of recent events and discoveries, my love for you will never waiver, Blue.” 

Blue smiled a warm smile and glanced up at Yellow, giving her cheek a chaste peck before resting her chin on the others shoulder. “And I’ll never doubt that, no matter what. But we must remain in control of ourselves. Rose Quartz is still on this world, and I intend to get answers.” 

“I’ll be there beside you, every step of the way.” 

“Will you?” Blues’ voice wavered, her arms tugging Yellow closer. “It is now clear to me we have different ways of going about getting justice than what I had originally thought. We’re so different, Yellow, even if we want the same things.” 

Yellow hummed in thought, tracing a hand from the top to the bottom of Blues’ hair. Honestly? She wasn’t sure given everything that’s happened. She wasn’t sure of much else regarding how they’ll go about recapturing Rose Quartz, and then where to go from there. 

“I won’t promise things will go smoothly from this moment onward, because circumstances have gotten too unpredictable, my dear.” Yellow consoled Blue the best she could by pulling her in as close as possible and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead despite her words of uncertainty. “But I will promise to _behave_ myself as best as I can, if you promise to tolerate my… _conniptions.”_ Yellow said, her tone having a certain coy edge to it that Blue found endearing. 

The azure Diamond laughed, moving to bump the tips of their noses together. “And if you _fail to behave yourself?_ What am I to do then?” Blue smiled up at her. 

Yellow was relieved they’d ended their session of anger and sorrow, reveling in the lighthearted playful mood Blue had taken to. Yellow smiled back at her before closing the distance between their lips. Blue sighed into the kiss, wrapping her arms around her companions’ neck. Yellow pulled back reluctantly, answering Blue with what may have been a small anticipative growl hidden in her words. “Then I suppose you’ll have to properly _punish_ me for my _insubordination_.” 

Blues’ laughter only heightened in spirits with Yellow being so impish. “You’re _ridiculous_.” She said, her smile growing warmer and more sincere with the atmosphere around them depleted of all negativity. 

“Perhaps.” Yellow said, administering another peck to her forehead. “However, if I am, then you must be as well.” 

“And whatever led you to that conclusion?” 

“We’re simply one in the same, love." 

Blues’ smile did not waiver, but she hummed in thought. They _were_ different, though. “One in the same, yet so distinctive.” 

Yellow nodded against Blues’ face, a sad smile shaping her lips and tone. “So distinctive, yet able to resolve the most complex of hardships.” 

Blue hummed in agreement and then simply stood there in Yellows’ embrace. Both of them radiated uncertainty that they saw reflected in one another. Neither of them knew where to go from here in terms of _them_. 

“I love you, Yellow. However, you can’t expect me to adhere to matters correlating with _us_ as well as with details of Pinks’ demise in the same way as you. I hope you understand why I’m reluctant to discuss matters with you at times.” 

“I do.” Yellow said, and she meant it with every last atom of her gem. She realized how different they were and how things may never run as smoothly as they once did before the trial, but she was ready to fight those battles for the hope that everything will be resolved sooner rather than later. “I recognize my impatience and anger, and am more than willing to work diligently to suppress it. For you, and for the sake of our empires continued success.” 

Blue sighed in affirmation, knowing that the words Yellow spoke were easier said than done, but was willing to work with her companion and tolerate as well as forgive moments in the future where Yellow may possibly slip up. 

Blue lifted her head to press a brief, heartfelt kiss to Yellows’ lips in gratitude. “That is all I ask.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if this one felt rushed... I just couldn't leave my babies sad and tear stained :'(


End file.
